Schlepping to The Well of Stillness and Hoping It's Not Dry

I recently experienced this running away from myself that Martha Beck talks about in Becoming Still. 

I thought I didn't know how to handle a situation that unreasonably terrorized me. So I found myself schlepping to my stillness well, as I call it, to get some help because no one and nothing outside of me was able to.
 

My Mother's Habits

The worst part is that this fear has always been with me; and it was shocking to realise how much I had patterned my reactions on my mother's habits observed as a child.


We were very poor for a few years after the father of her four children walked out. She had no money, a huge house and 4 small children and one adolescent to care for. I have never been in her situation yet I react as she did then, whenever money is an issue. Is that scary or what!


Whining
 

Of course, logic dictates that there is always a solution to a problem. I knew that if I spent some quiet time and reconnected with Source I would be able tap into my well of stillness. But I kept avoiding that. Like a lot of people, it's hard getting off the rocky path once you set foot upon it.

 

But I could not continue like that indefinitely. It is impossible to maintain such a high level of fear which makes you desperate. It was do or die. So I decided to do something, anything.  I was fed up with whining; I hate whining - even my own!  


TAKING ACTION


Following Canfield's Advice

I decided to follow Jack Canfield's advice in his 21-day free mentoring programme which I had been faithfully following.

I acted "as if" everything was my responsibility from start to finish. I accepted Canfield's premise that if I changed my reaction (R) to the event (E) I would get a different outcome (O) - (E + R = O).    

Using EFT

I also did some EFT tapping on Self Acceptance with Magnus to clear out the emotional garbage with tears and snot running down my face.

Twenty minutes later I knew I had turned a corner. I felt such a profound sense of release, as if wings had lifted the burden from my shoulders.  And don't get me wrong here, I had been using EFT daily on my emotional blockages as they arose for some months already. Sometimes for a two-hour stretch. However, the relief I felt told me I had been liberated from a major limiting belief.

Using The Silva Centering Exercise

Three money-making ideas occurred to me after the EFT session. I dutifully wrote them down. Then I completed the thirty-minute Centering Exercise from the Silva Method which I received when I had signed up for their free introductory lessons.
  

Finding A Solution and Overcoming My Fear of the Unknown

After completing the Silva Centering Exercise, I made the fateful call which so terrified me days earlier and worked out a solution of such simplicity that I was stunned. It was so damned easy after all!   The well wasn't dry, thank god, and I came back hale and hearty.

So what was the problem again? Fear of not being enough, lack of self worth... never tackled until now. All coming from lessons learned observing my mother more than forty years ago! That was my running away story folks.

 

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